The Evil Twin
by Shashuko the Paisley Maiden
Summary: Ranma has a twin...... but why didn't he know before? And why does she want to torture him like everybody else in the series does? Read and find out! RanmaxAkane MousseOC, KunoOC
1. Chapter 1

This is the first chapter, so it'll be longer than the others. And yes, I have too many OC's, But there's only one in this chapter, so never fear. And I don't own Ranma 1/2 or the name Retasu. which is stolen from Tokyo Mew Mew!

Ding-dong.

"I'll get it!" called Akane Tendo, running for the door. "P-CHAN! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"

"Gree."

"Yip! Yip! Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip!" There was a small Shi-Tzu puppy with P-chan.

"Oh! Is this your friend?"

P-chan nodded. "Gree."

"Well, I suppose we'll have to let you stay, too! What's your name?"

"Yip!"

"Oh, I know! How about... I-chan?"

"Yip!" The puppy started panting.

"Real imaginative, Akane. P-chan for a pig and I-chan for an inu. Where do you come up with this stuff?" said Ranma sarcastically.

"Hey! I-chan is a cute nick-name! Right, I-chan?"

"YIP!"

I-chan proceeded to bite Ranma's leg, just lightly enough to sting.

"Hey! Dumb dog..."

A month passed in this manner: P-chan and I-chan slept in Akane's bed, followed Akane everywhere, bit Ranma, and ran away at bath time. Ranma was beginning to have suspicions that I-chan was in league with Ryoga. There was only one thing to do: get rid of I-chan.

Ranma poured cold water over himself (er, herself) because she was quieter as a girl. She slowly snuck into the room and grabbed the small dog off of Akane's bed. Then, she took I-chan outside.

Meanwhile, Shampoo had just gotten back from her vacation to China. She was making a delivery and just happened to know a detour that went right past Ranma's house.

Then, she saw Ranma.

"RANMA!" she giggled. "You date Shampoo now?"

"Um, look, I'm not really inter-"

"Ranma is girl. Look cuter as boy."

She dumped her delivery (hot soup) over the whole deal: Ranma, I-chan, and the pavement under them. The result was a spluttering boy Ranma holding, by the scruff the the neck... a spluttering girl Ranma? The bows Akane would tie around I-chan's neck and tail were at the base and end of her braid, which was longer than Ranma's and reached her high waist. She was, of course, completely nude.

"AIYAAH! Two Ranma? Shampoo is confused!" yelled Shampoo

"SHAMPOO? Wrong Sataome!"

"AIYAAH! RETASU!"

"YAY! SHAMPOO! How come I didn't know you were here?"

"Shampoo went to visit family and friends in China. You reeked revenge already, yes?"

"No, not yet. But I've been using doggy form to gather information. I fell in the 'Spring of the Drowned Dog,' accidentally-on-purpose-like. Can I have some clothes?"

"Shampoo had spare clothes in bag because Shampoo fell in Spring of Drowned Cat," explained Shampoo as she got out a dress like the one she was wearing from her bag (The Cat Cafe uniform). Retasu bit Ranma's hand to make him drop her and pulled the frilly dress over her head. She squealed.

"It's so CUTE!"

"Will someone PLEASE explain what's going on?!?!" Ranma yelled at the two giggling girls, grabbing Retasu by the shirt collar.

"Oh!" said the girl who was apparently called Retasu. "I'm your sister, silly! I've come to seek revenge on my father, who left me to another family, not knowing if the could afford me or not, just because he wasn't sure HE could!"

"So I've got a sister and I never knew?" man, talk about typical. Hopefully she wasn't as insane as their father.

Shampoo explained. "Yes. Retasu found out when five years old. Ran away, searching for father to reek revenge. Ran into a soothsayer at seven. Learned father's last name: Sataome. Then she ask around everywhere if someone met a 'Sataome.' Someone say he go to China. Retasu follow. Tripped while running. Shampoo found splayed out on ground, unconscious. Thought was Ranma, but then saw longer braid and took back to village for healing, questioning. Retasu's first words once conscious: Do you know a Sataome? Shampoo say yes, saw two and want to kill one of them, and they went that way. But kept Retasu strapped down so could not leave until healed. Now we friends."

"When do the Drowned Springs become a part of this?"

Retasu flushed. "It's kind of embarrassing, but here goes: I've always had a weakness for cute, frilly things. But I soon found out that cute, frilly things are not good for fighting and training. I also discovered that anything but black showed up too well in the shadows. So, I always wear black t-shirts and sweatpants, like the ones I've got now. Then, I heard about the Drowned Springs. An answer to my prayers! I went right over and asked about small, fuzzy, CUTE animals. There was a long, long list! Eventually, I got bored and asked where the closest one was. The guide said, 'Spring of Drowned puppy by itself, in that clump of trees.' I ran and dived in! As a puppy I found I was faster and I could get free food! Sausage bits and dog kibble, one guy gave me a whole side of beef... well, you get the idea."

"Then... how'd you meet Ryoga?"

"Well, the Drowned Spring are hot springs, right? Though they affect you so that cold water changes you, and you turn into that change the first time, if you fell in the same spring a second time, you wouldn't be affected. In fact, you can use them to turn back into a human! It won't cure the curse, but you'll be human again until you have an encounter with some cold water. Anyway, I had decided to go on with my REVENGE and so was taking a bath in the Spring Of Drowned Dog -- to take advantage of its being hot water and because I was cold-- when a certain bandana-haired youth burst out of ground yelling, 'IS THIS FURINKAN HIGH SCHOOL?!?!' I swam to behind a rock to shield myself and yelled, 'NO! HAVE YOU MET ANYONE CALLED SATAOME?!?!' He yelled back 'WHERE IN ALL HECK ARE YOU?!? YES I HAVE MET A SATAOME! TWO, IN FACT! RANMA SATAOME, WHO I WILL SEEK REVENGE ON, AND GENMA SATAOME, WHO IS HIS FATHER! LIKE I SAID, WHO AND WHERE ARE YOU!' I yelled back 'MY NAME IS RETASU AND I WISH TO SEARCH REVENGE ON MY FATHER, WHO ABANDONED ME TO THE GOOD PEOPLE OF THE MISOMIKON DOJO! HIS NAME IS SATAOME! GIVE ME MY CLOTHES BACK, YOU SICK PEVERT!' He threw my clothes at me and I got dressed. I explained my situation, and he explained his. He told me that my father and, apparently, brother, were staying at the Tendo Dojo, which he was looking for. I said that if he took me there, I'd do something on return. He agreed. Then it rained and we both turned into small animals, I into a dog and Ryoga into a pig. It was decided that we would use these forms to our advantage, to gain info for me and to be with Miss Akane for him. Boy, that Kasumi girl knows how to spoil a dog... she gave me a whole side of BEEF yesterday and all I did was tilt my head to the side cutely!"

"Aha! So you are in cahoots with Ryoga!"

She rolled her eyes. "Well, duhh."

Shampoo giggled. "Now Retasu is Shampoo's sister-in-law!"

"What? You two are married? Then why does Ranma live with Akane's family? Isn't she supposed to be a fiance of some sort?"

"Shampoo is not married to me!" said Ranma. "And I wish she would stop being so pushy about it!"

Retasu raised her eyebrows. "Oh! Another fiance? Exactly how many do you have, Ranma?"

"Three fiances and one stalker," sighed Ranma. "Plus Kuno, if you count my girl form."

"Ouch," commented Retasu. "Wasn't Kuno that guy who showed up last Tuesday and wanted to take both your girl-form and Akane out on a date?"

Ranma nodded.

"Well, I feel bad for you. He's ugly as heck with a voice to match."

Just then, Kuno popped out of nowhere. "Ranma! Release the pig-tailed girl this instant!" (Ranma was still holding Retasu by the shirt collar).

"I'm not the pig-tailed girl!' she yelled. "I'm sick of being mistaken for that idiot!"

Shampoo whispered something in Retasu's ear and then hit her on the head.

"Oh! I remember now! Tee hee hee! Catch me if you can, Kuno!" giggled Retasu as she broke out of Ranma's grip and ran off above the rooftops.

Thank goodness for that, thought Ranma. Uh-oh. That girl just left me by myself, with Shampoo.

Shampoo giggled. The thing she had whispered in Retasu's ear was: You distract Kuno and and leave me alone with Ranma, yes? Then we be sisters even sooner. "Now we date!"

"Like I said Shampoo. I'm just not interest-"

"Oh, but it is late! Ranma date Shampoo later. Plus, Shampoo's delivery must be re-cooked and delivered. Shampoo date Ranma later. Bye-bye!" said a bubbly Shampoo as she hopped on her bike and rode off.

"And good riddance," said Ranma under his breath. Shampoo was cute, but mentally she just wasn't his type. However, he was sometimes nice to her. To annoy Akane.

"Ditto," said the voice of Retasu behind him. "I feel bad for you on the Kuno Dilemma, like I said. He's obsessed." Then, there was a splash as Retasu doused herself in cold water and walked back inside, as a dog.

Next Morning

The morning was calm and tranquil. Then, a sharp scream split the air.

"WHERE IS MY P-CHAN?!?!?"

I-chan calmly walked up to Akane, giving her the 'puppy dog eyes.' P-chan's bandana was in her mouth. She laid it at Akane's feet and tugged at the hem of her blue flannel pajamas. I-chan padded away, Akane in tow.

"I-chan, do you know where P-chan went?" I-chan barked halfheartedly, then put her nose the ground as if following a scent. Akane followed, throwing a long coat over her PJ's. They were nearing the park when I-chan broke into a run. Akane tried to keep up, but I-chan was smaller and had twice as many legs. The small brown puppy disappeared through a bush. Akane ran right through the bush, but I-chan was nowhere in sight. The bow Akane had placed on I-chan's tail lay on the ground, muddy and torn. Akane broke down crying.

Then, she heard footsteps, one on hand too heavy to be I-chan, but on the other hand too light to be Kuno (who is tall and muscular and therefore heavy). Akane looked up.

It was Ryoga.

"Um.. hi, Akane," he said in his usual shy tone of voice. "Are you okay?"

"Well, my pet pig and my pet dog have both run off," she confessed. "Why? Do they hate me or something?"

Ryoga shook his head. "Who'd hate you?" his voice took on a shaky tone. "I mean, you're... really... nice..."

"My cooking stinks, I look like a boy, I can't control my temper, I'm voilent, and Ranma hates me!" Akane sobbed.

"He doesn't," sighed Ryoga, who had hoped this conversation wold not go in this direction. He looked back to where Retasu had given him a 'pep talk' for talking to Akane. What had she said to do if her brother was brought into the conversation? He couldn't remember!

"Right," said Akane sarcastically.

"N-no, I'm sure of it! Ranma. and your pets... don't hate you... and A-Akane... n-neither do I..."

Akane smiled. "That's good to hear, Ryoga," she said. "I'm glad I have some friends. I wish Ranma was as nice as you."

Friends? "Um... you really like him, don't you?"

Akane nodded and sighed. "But he's just so difficult to like! He's always teasing me, talking about how bad my cooking is or how much of a tomboy I am! Somehow, though, he's nice to me... I'm not sure if he means it when he makes fun of me... I don't think he gets that it hurts... but I can't tell him I like him! I don't know if he likes me at all!"

Retasu, who was watching secretively from a tree (and wearing clothes she stole from her brother), slapped herself in the head.

I hadn't though of that! I was sure Akane HATED Ranma! said the voice in her head.

Oh, well. I held up my end of the deal. I helped him talk to Akane. Now, I have enough info to launch my revenge attack on my father... all the better if the strongest Tendo is still out! That had also been a part of the deal. The other good thing for Retasu was that she had collected info on her father (and brother) for awhile, so she could torture him better. She would make him suffer...

He had left Retasu to another family, not knowing or caring if they could afford her (which they could, but only just barely), just leaving her on the doorstep of the Misomikon dojo. From what she heard, he'd tricked his son into saying he'd commit Seppuku if he didn't grow to be a man amoung men, he stole the Okonamiyaki cart... he was just a jerk all around! Retasu couldn't wait the kick him into the dust.

Retasu left her tree and, without letting Ryoga (who thought she'd been long gone) and Akane (who still didn't know Retasu was I-chan) hear or see her, walked towards the Tendo dojo.

She knocked on the door three times. It was answered by Kasumi.

"Hello, Ranma!" she said. "How are you?"

Retasu smirked. Time to put the info she had gathered on her brother to good use. "Good. Where's Pop? I have to ask him about something."

"In the training room," said Kasumi, pointing. Retasu walked into the training room and clicked the door shut.

Genma Sataome smiled at his daughter, who of course he thought was his son.

"You're going down, old man!" yelled Retasu, taking on a basic stance.

Genma also took a stance. "Ranma? What's wrong?"

"Father? I'm not Ranma."

Genma looked confused. "Ranma? Are you feeling all right?"

"I mean it! I'm NOT Ranma!" Retasu launched her attack.

"Of course you're Ranma! Who else could you be?"

"Think back, Sataome. Is it entirely impossible for Ranma to have a look-alike?"

"Umm... no?"

Retasu launched a punch that he barely dodged. "Think harder, old man!"

Genma froze. "The... twin?"

"DUH!"

Ranma walked into the room. "Oh, hi Retasu! Have you seen Akane?"

"NO! I'm fighting here! Stop distracting me!"

"Oh. Reeking revenge already?"

"Yep. Bug off, please."

"Okay," said Ranma as he walked off to find Akane.

Genma used this chance to run out of the dojo. Retasu followed in hot pursuit.

"COME BACK HERE YOU OLD COWARD!"

Retasu lunged and rammed Genma through the wall and, fortunately for Genma, into the koi pond outside. He became a panda. He ruffled his fur and swam out of the water. Retasu stopped running in time to not hit the koi pond.

By now, you're probably wondering why it's fortunate for Genma that he fell in the koi pond. The reason of this being lucky is this:

"OH IT'S SO CUTE! KAWAII!"

Retasu squealed and hugged the panda.

"Ranma?" called Kasumi through the hole in the wall. "Are you feeling alright?"

"No, that's Ranma over there!" called Retasu, who stopped hugging her father the panda too point at Ranma, who was not looking for Akane as he should have been and was watching the fight from a tree (Genma Sataome the panda ran away). Ranma waved at Kasumi. "Have you seen Akane?"

"I'm right here, dummy!" yelled Akane from the Tendo's front lawn.

"Oh, there you are!" Ranma yelled back. "Did you know I have a twin sister? I just found out yesterday!"

Retasu gave up looking for Genma Sataome, the panda, and jumped up to join her brother in the tree. "Hi! I'm Retasu! You must be Akane!" She did not want Akane knowing she was I-chan.

"And you didn't find out until yesterday that you have a sister?" Akane questioned suspiciously.

"HEY! IT'S NOT MY FAULT MY FATHER THOUGHT TWO CHILDREN WOULD BE TOO MANY AND ABANDONED ME!!" Retasu yelled angrily.

Genma Sataome, the man (he stole some hot water Kasumi was boiling to make tea) also jumped into the tree. "No, it's not her fault. It's Ranma fault."

Retasu glared. "Whadda ya mean, Ranma's fault."

"I wasn't sure I could afford two twins. So, I threw you both in the river. Don't look at me like that! It was not that deep! Both of you floated to the top as ice cubes. Since his ice cube was smaller, Ranma was stronger."

Retasu raised her eyebrows. "So, it's Ranma's fault because he was warmer?"

Genma nodded anxiously. "Yes."

"YEAH, RIGHT! You probably kept him instead of me because he's a boy!"

"Ah, well! Eh... bye!" Genma Sataome, the man, as he jumped out of the tree ad ran off.

Retasu, the girl, ran after him. "GENMA SATAOME! YOU LITTLE bleep! COME BACK HERE!

Genma ran into the hose that Nabiki was holding (she had said she'd water the perishing garden for 3000 yen and her father sort of said 'whatever,' so she was watering the perishing garden) and turned into Genma Sataome, the panda.

Retasu, of course, squeezed and hugged him. "I can't stay mad at you! You're too cute!" Then she let go. "But how will I exact revenge now? Now that I said that, you'll always be a panda when I'm near! What will I do?"

Just then, Pink and Link showed up on a helicopter seed. "Heeheehee please! Ranma's pain is Shampoo's pain, please!" Akane kicked them away because they were implying that Shampoo and Ranma were married, which made her mad. (authoress's note: oww please)

"AIEE, PLEASE!" they yelled as they flew into the sunset-- which since it was only nine AM, means that Akane kicked them far enough for them to see one.

Retasu's eyes lit up. "That's it!" she said and grinned at Ranma evilly.

Ranma looked confused. "Retasu... you wouldn't really... would you?"

"I'm sorry, brother," she sighed. "You seem to be a nice person adnI have nothing against you. But, since I cannot bring myself to torture my father... I will have to torture YOU INSTEAD!" she started to tickle him.

"WAHAHAHAHA... STOPPIT RETASU!"

"NO! THIS IS ONLY A TASTE OF MY REVENGE! JUST YOU WAIT!"

Then she stopped. "Forgive me," she said, "but I have to go now. I'm gonna go hang out with Shampoo. See ya!"

"Retasu! Do you have a place to stay?" called Kasumi.

"No! Why?"

"Well, wouldn't it be easier to achieve your goal if you were nearer your brother? You would be able to torture Ranma better if you were at the same house and school!"

"KASUMI! What is the meaning of this? This is so unlike you!" yelled Soun Tendo.

"Think about it, Papa. The sooner Retasu completes her revenge, the sooner Ranma stops suffering!"

"And the sooner I go back to my foster family in Osaka!" pointed out Retasu.

"That would be a shame, to spend all that time with your family just to leave!" wondered Kasumi aloud.

"Well, I'll come and visit! Especially with an invitation or if my mother is visiting too!"

Genma Sataome (still a panda!) held up a sign that said, YOU MET HER?!?!

Retasu giggled. "Not yet. But I know the situation and I know she sometimes visits to see Ranko."

"How do you have all of this information anyway?" Akane questioned.

"Ah... well..."

Ranma pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge (used for threatening Ryoga when he was present in human form) and poured it on Retasu's head.

"YIP! YIP! YIP YIP YIP YIP GRRRR!" Retasu (or should I say I-chan?) bit Ranma on the leg. Kasumi poured some hot water on her (the rest of the contents in the kettle that Genma Sataome, the panda, had stolen). Retasu grinned sheepishly.

"I don't expect you to be nice to me, Ranma," she said, "if I'm going to be wreaking revenge meant for my father on you. However, if you reveal my secret to anyone else. I will beat you down with all I've got." she smiled. "I'm sorry Akane. Maybe I should have told you sooner. But it was the only way I could think of."

Akane was, of course, very angry with Retasu, who grinned and said the dumbest thing she could have said.

"If it makes you feel ay better, hit me!"

Akane PUNCHED Retasu out of through the roof. Retasu grinned. "Feel better now?"

"GET OUT OF HERE!"

Retasu ran off. Agreeable girl, ain't she? I am not running away from a fight, she thought. I

have to go meet Shampoo.

"AIYAAAH!!" squealed Shampoo. "Retasu came! Or are you Ranma?"

"KYAAA!" squealed the pigtailed girl (no this is NOT Kuno POV). "THIS CAFÉ……………. THAT OUTFIT………….. SO KAWAII!!! KAWAII KAWAII KAWAII KAWAII!" She began spinning around.

"Hi, Retasu!" said Shampoo, who had seen Retasu's longer-than-Ran-ma's braid as she started to spin around. "What you want do? Paint nails? Do hair? Discuss plans for revenge?"

"How about all three?" giggled Retasu.

"Good decision!" Shampoo giggled back.

"WAIT! Shampoo!"

"Yes,?"

"Isn't Ranma your FIANCE?"

"We went over this already, yes? Shampoo marry Ranma very very soon! Shampoo has plans for getting Ranma. Very very soon!" She said the last sentence slightly evilly.

"Then why do you want to help me with my revenge?"

"You reeking revenge on Genma and not Ranma, yes?"

"Well, I have a problem. I cannot reek revenge on Genma when he's a panda. He's too kawaii! Since he knows this, he is a panda 24/7. I can't do squat. So, I'm taking my anger out on Ranma. Still wanna help?" Retasu laughed weakly. "That would mean inflicting pain on your fiancé! I don't THINK so!"

Shampoo took on a look of extreme concentration. There had to be a way to use this in her favor…………. A-HA!

"IS TOO-TOO GOOD!" Shampoo gasped suddenly.

"WHAT?!?" Retasu yelled.

"Retasu inflict much pain on Ranma, yes? Then, Shampoo find Ranma's bleeding, broken body and nurse him back to health. Then we be sisters VERY VERY VERY soon, even sooner than with Shampoo's plans! TOO-TOO GOOD!"

Retasu giggled. "Yay! Now I have another ally!"

"Other people besides Shampoo are helping Retasu?"

"Yup! Ryouga's gonna help if I need him 'cause he doesn't like Ranma and Kasumi wants this whole deal over with so Ranma stops suffering, so we can use her. Maybe. Also, If I REALLY need a distraction, I can just find Kuno."

"Too-too good! Now, we start planning, yes?"

"Hmm……….. I was thinking I could cut my hair."

"Last time that suggested to Retasu, Retasu knocked out that person!"

"E-heh." Retasu said sheepishly. "Sorry 'bout that. Anyway, I'm gonna go to Ranma's school to confuse people now. I was thinking, if I cut my hair…. I'd look exactly like him as a girl!" she giggled. "I'd confuse people.. …………….. and I could pretend to be Ranma and do things that are stupid or gay."

"Too-too good!" agreed Shampoo. "I go get scissors!"

Shampoo bright Retasu some scissors. Retasu winced, and the cut her braid short down to the length that her brother's was.

"AIYAAH! You look exactly like Ranma!" Shampoo hugged Retasu.

Retasu grinned evilly. "That's sort of the point, isn't it?" then, she giggled.

"Now go shopping!" announced Shampoo.

Retasu bought one of almost every item at the store "Everything Girly," meaning her savings were spent up and that she owed an impressive amount of cash to Shampoo, who replied that "Retasu can work at cat Cafe with Shampoo! No problem!" and that there were to many clothes to carry home, so Retasu left them with Shampoo and told to not hesitate to borrow them.

Retasu eventually dragged herself back to the Tendo dojo. A thought struck her.

Oh, no! Akane's probably still mad at mad at me... I know!

Retasu put her head under the faucet and turned the cold water on, transforming into I-chan. She shook her wet fur and ran to Akane's room, where Akane was sleeping and protectively hugging P-chan, who had come back after Ryoga tried to confess his feelings for Akane.

Retasu put her damp self on the foot of Akane's bed and fell asleep.

Akane Tendo woke up at seven AM, just like every morning. She was still hugging P-chan, like every good morning.

But what was the pressure on her feet?

I-chan, or should I say, Retasu was sleeping peacefully on Akane's feet. It sneezed. Akane kicked her feet up, sending poor I-chan into a wall. I-chan woke up (duhhh...) and sneezed three times.


	2. Conversations

Last chapter was really OOC at one point. Both of my friends who read this before I posted it told me it was, and I agree, but I'm too lazy to fix it. If you find the OOC, you get a cookie! Also, thanks to The Rabid Badger for reviewing (thank you again for telling me Retasu ain't a Sue!), and fearless FREAK on a MOTORCYCLE for alerting me. Also, just FYI, I've only written about three chapters so far, so after the third chapter updating will be much, much, slower. And now on to the ficcy-- that's what you're here for anyway, right?

I-chan looked up into Akane with big, soulful eyes (puppy dog eyes XD) and sneezed again. It made a pitiful face.

Akane growled. I-chan whimpered and sneezed yet again.

"Gree gree gree," said P-chan. In animal-speak, this is 'I think you have a cold.'

I-chan nodded at P-chan and sneezed.

Akane sighed. She handed I-chan a pair of red flannel pajamas and poured hot water that she randomly had next to her bed onto the sick puppy, which of course made her turn back into Retasu (P-chan turned around and closed his eyes 'cause she was nude).

Retasu put on the pajamas and smiled at Akane. "Thanks," she said. She started coughing.

"I think you have a cold," said Akane.

Retasu nodded and sneezed.

"I'm sorry I used your softness towards small animals, Akane-san," said Retasu softly.

"It's okay, I guess. Now if you had been P-chan, who I've known longer, on the other hand..."

P-chan flinched noticeably.

"Where were you anyway?" asked Akane curiously.

"Went shopping with Shampoo-chan."

"You KNOW her?"

"Yeah, she's my friend."

"So you're on _her_ side?" Akane glared.

Retasu grinned cockily. "I'm not on anyone''s side! Shampoo-chan's my friend, but you're pretty nice too... and Ucchan also sounds like a good person."

"What about Kodachi?"

"I don't like her. She sounds like a stalker."

"She is," said Ranma, sicking his head in the window from outside. (speaking of stalkers...)

"GET OUT!!!" yelled Akane as she slammed her window shut.

"I'm gonna have fun torturing _him_," giggled Retasu. "He's so clueless sometimes, isn't he?"

"Yeah. But he's still a jerk!!!!" yelled Akane.

"Well, whenever you have an idea for helping me... just tell me okay?"

Retasu laid down on the floor. There was a peaceful silence for a minute or so. Then, something struck Akane.

"Hey, Retasu-san?"

"Yeah?"

"How will you know when to stop torturing him?"

Retasu laughed. "Oh, that! I got it all worked out! Whenever I cause embarrassment for him, I'll rate his embarrassment on a scale of one to ten. I'll add that many points to my grand total. When I've got a hundred points, I'll be done!"

"Seems like a good idea," said Akane. "This torturing thing really means a lot to you, doesn't it?"

"I've been looking for the person to reek revenge on for leaving me since I was five, Akane-san. I gave up cute things, I went hungry... and just today I cut my hair so I look exactly like him!"

"You did?"

"Umm... yeah?"

"I didn't notice," said Ranma, sticking his head in the door.

"GET OUT, PERVERT!!!" yelled Akane, throwing a hairbrush at him.

"Sheesh," said Ranma, pulling the hairbrush out of his face where it had stuck. "Okay! I get it! I'll stay away!"

"Tomorrow morning, I'm gonna go to school with you guys," said Retasu. "Anything I should look out for?"

"Kuno."

"Okay, got it! What else?"

"The principal's a psycho. That's about it," said Ranma's voice from behind the door.

"GO AWAY, ONIICHAN!" yelled Retasu.

"Oniichan?"

"You are my brother. Would you rather I call you Oneesan?"

"No, Oniichan's fine!" Ranma said hurriedly.

"'Kay... g'night, Oneechan."

"HEY!!!!!"

But Retasu had already fallen asleep on Akane's rug, smirking considerably.

The next morning, Retasu awoke on a rug. _'What am I doing here?' _she thought. _'Oh yeah. I fell asleep on the rug.'_

Retasu yawned and stretched. She got up and went outside.

The cold morning air fell fresh on Retasu face. She took a deep breath in, then a deep breath out. She looked up at the sky and smiled.

"I start school today," she said to herself.

"No, you don't!" said Ranma's voice behind her. "Today is Sunday."

"And?" Retasu asked.

"There's no school on Sunday."

"Oh."

Retasu fell over. Ranma laughed and Retasu got up. She dusted her self off and lunged at Ranma.

Ranma, not being the idiot he usually was when he came to martial arts, defended himself, and the two siblings were soon fighting at full power. After about five minutes, Ranma pushed Retasu into the lake, where she came up as a spluttering puppy who calmly walked up to Ranma and bit him on the leg.

"Owww!" said Ranma as the blood flowed down his calf. He took off his shirt and bandaged the wound.

Just then, Genma Saotome, in human form, walked out. I-chan started chasing him until he landed in the lake himself. Then, he was caught by an onslaught of licks from I-chan. He had to pull her off and hold her at arm's length. Genma Saotome, the panda, walked into the kitchen and gave I-chan to Kasumi, who had hot water already.

Akane came in with some clothes for Retasu. Retasu put on a ruffly pink skirt and a white T-shirt with a Nekokoneko emblem on it (tee hee).

"Thanks, Akane!" said Retasu as she stared at herself in the mirror. Then she started babbling about how cute the skirt was and hugged Akane.

"Thanks for letting me borrow the skirt!" she bubbled happily. "I'm sorry I had to borrow your clothes though... I'm gonna go get some of my clothes that I bought last night when I went shopping with Shampoo-chan, okay? Plus, I'm gonna go meet Ukyo-san, because she sounds like a nice person."

Just then, Ranma walked in. "Hey, aren't those clothes Akane's?" he questioned.

Retasu giggled. "You memorized her clothes? Pervert!"

Ranma blushed. "I did not memorize her clothes! I know those clothes are Akane's because she wears that outfit a lot!"

"In other words, you memorized her clothes," giggled Retasu.

Akane growled. "PERVERT!"

Retasu pulled a clipboard out of nowhere. "Accusing Oniichan of memorizing Akane-chan's clothes... five points..."

"Huh?" said Ranma.

"Point system," said Retasu. "Your suffering has to end somewhere, right? Once I've embarrassed you enough, it ends!"

"Whatever..." said Ranma. "Say, how are you gonna find Ucchan's place if you don't know where it is?"

"Oh yeah... plus Ukyo-san will probably just think I'm you, since she knows that you're cursed an' all... and what if I run into Kodachi or Tatewaki Kuno? Kodachi hates Ranko's guts and Tatewaki us obsessed... could ya show me the way, Oniichan?"

"Why should I?" said Ranma, who liked Retasu less and less as time went on, especially after the 'clothes-memorizing-pervert' comment.

"I won't embarrass you anymore today if you do... deal?"

"How can I trust you?" Ranma asked suspiciously. "You're out to get me anyway..."

Retasu rolled her eyes. "Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye," she chanted. "If I embarrass you at all today..."

"I will feed you to Kuno," said Ranma. Retasu shuddered considerably. She held put her hand.

"Deal," she said. "But first, I'm gonna go get clothes from where I left 'em. Be back in a sec!"

Retasu ran to the Cat Cafe.

"Retasu-chan? Or are you Ranma?" Shampoo said as Retasu walked in.

Retasu didn't hear Shampoo, because she was busy taking in the kawaii scenery. Her eyes got big and starry at the sight of the cafe. "This place gets cuter every time I come!" she squealed.

"Good Morning, Retasu-chan," said Shampoo, sounding a little put out because she had hoped it was Ranma.

"Good morning, Shampoo-chan! You hoped I was Oniichan, didn't you?"

"Yes, Shampoo was hoping Retasu was Ranma."

"Oh well. That's to be expected," giggled Retasu. "It'll be hard to tell us

apart since I cut my hair... I know! I'll wear bows in my hair! Deal?"

"Okay! Now Shampoo not confuse friend with fiance. Is too-too good! Why Retasu here?"

Retasu laughed. "I was wondering if I could have some of the clothes I bought last night..."

Shampoo nodded. "MOUSSE! You bring Shampoo the yellow shopping bags in the kitchen, yes?" she yelled on top of her lungs.

A distant, "Anything for you!" was heard. About two minutes later, Mousse came in with about fifty shopping bags.

"Here you are," said Mousse as he placed them on the floor and went back to... wherever he was before Shampoo had called for his aid.

"I can't carry all of the home now..." Retasu said.

"Shampoo will dump all the clothes on the floor, yes? Then, we pick two bags full of clothes, the rest go back in other bags."

"Good idea!"

Retasu found a Sharpie and put a Happy Face on two of the bags-- the ones she would take home. The, both girls dumped all of the clothes onto the floor. They stuffed the Happy Face bags full of clothes and started putting the rest away.

"You know," said Retasu thoughtfully, "Making Mousse bring all this here wasn't very nice."

"If Mousse had heard Shampoo and Retasu's conversation, he would have helped anyway."

"You have a point there," noted Retasu. "Ah, well. At least you only asked for the yellow shopping bags!"

Both girls started laughing.

"Shampoo could have asked for the pink ones," Shampoo chuckled (the pink shopping bags were at least twice in number to the yellow ones).

"Or ALL of them!" Retasu giggled. They started laughing like hyenas (or like me).

They put the rest of the clothes in bags and Retasu grabbed the two Happy Face bags and left for the Tendo house.

"Thanks for the help, Shampoo," giggled Retasu, who was still recovering from the Shopping Bag Incident.

"Oh, it was Shampoo's pleasure," Shampoo said. "Next time, we sort through pink bags, yes?"

Retasu started laughing like me again. Shampoo laughed too.

"I really.. chuckle... should be going... sorry for imposing so long... Ja ne!" Retasu attempted to wave, but the weight of the shopping bag in that hand was too much to lift high enough.

"Bai bai!" called Shampoo as Retasu walked back towards the Tendo house.


End file.
